I remember as a child that kids in my class would say that they felt sorry for me that my birthday was so close to Christmas. But on the contrary, I think that it's actually an advantage. The end of January is usually a pretty bleak time. Credit card bills have arrived from all the Christmas over-spending. It's usually pretty cold and miserable outside. And I also like to believe that my hubby and I can throw a pretty good party.
So for one night I got to forget about my empty uterus. One blessed night. A night where the focus was what to dip in the chocolate fountain and not when we were going to finally have babies. One night of feeling blissfully happy that my house was full of good friends. And this morning although the debris of last night's party was lying all around me -- something that would have driven me around the bend on a non-birthday day -- I felt so overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude.
Last night I looked around my house and saw my best friend talking to my newer yoga friends, my university friends talking with family friends, and of course there were the little kids running around stealing treats from the kitchen table. Instead of thinking about whether or not I was going to ovulate I got to hear about my friends' cool jobs and my best friend's daughter's boyfriend (she's four!).
So tonight, I'm going to bed filled with thoughts of goodness. After my birthday party I am once again certain that good things are going to happen to us. I am going to hold onto the hope that I have in my heart. And hopefully the next time I feel like I'm hitting rock bottom I can think about my chocolate fountain birthday and smile.